This Past Year…………

I have had such trouble writing this particular post- as words cannot describe the feeling of such a loss, or sum up the emotions we have endured throughout this year.. words cannot display the test on our faith, our marriage, our lives.

During this year, we witnessed my husband’s dearest mom suffer to more than I have ever seen someone suffer, and lose to a very aggressive cancer battle- in which she fought with EVERY inch of her body, mind, and spirit.   Aside from the obvious heartache that we all shared this Christmas season- I never realized all of the other emotions that entailed with losing someone so close.

All year, I had watched my husband go through all the stages of grief– anger, sadness, more anger….I tried to helplessly support and comfort him during those times, and remind him of our faith through all the moments of frustration, confusion, and hurt.

It wasn’t until the last two days of my mother in law’s life, that I was filled with such anger!  It hit me like a brick wall.    The reality sunk in, and that deep feeling of losing someone forever was horrifying to the point that it made me feel sick.

My dearest friend reminded me, right as I was going down a horrible path in my mind, that it’s all in God’s will.   It’s up to God for when it is time for us to go.   She reminded me to keep my faith.   I definitely needed that spiritual boost to get through those last couple of days, and the weeks to follow.

Two weeks after she passed, it was the Christmas season.   Definitely one of the toughest Christmases to go through– but it’s amazing what family can do to help each other during this time.

While visiting my family out of town, we attended Christmas Mass.   My 8 year old niece pointed out significant details in the church to our daughter- and what really stuck to Norah, was that Jesus was there.   She was so fascinated with Him!   When we all stood up at the start of Mass, Norah spoke loudly, “Is Jesus coming out??!!  Is He coming??” with great excitement– as excited as the kids were with the thought of Santa coming the night before.

Afterwards, I was explaining to Norah that we may not be able to actually SEE Jesus, but that He is in our hearts always, and I realized that that simple message sums up my lesson of this year:

Keep your faith strong-whatever it be-that is where our inner strength is found.

Keep close to your family and friends-those who are important to you- they will not be on earth forever..But they will always be in your heart.. like Jesus!

Until next time.. T. xx

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Live In The Moment

Generally, I have always found it very hard to live in the moment; on a day to day basis, just enjoying each minute of the day.  However I am really starting to realize how important it is to live in the moment.  Right now, our family is going through an extremely difficult time-we have a very close loved one who has been battling an illness for a long time, and if there is one thing this is teaching us- it is to not take today for granted.

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Another family member, who lost his wife a few years ago, gave me the best advice that is forever stuck in my mind:  “the little quarrels with your spouse are useless; don’t waste your time together fighting, ENJOY the time together.”

I know this is easier said than done.  We can all get caught up in the back and forth bickering, but for the most part, what are those little fights about?  Will it really matter who is right or wrong next year, or 5 years from now?

The bottom line is, our life on earth is SO SHORT, and unfortunately some shorter than others.  And the kicker is-we don’t know when we are going to die.   I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus, and there is no way anyone could foresee that.

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So why spend our days fighting with those we love.  We should spend each and every day loving, living, and appreciating our next breath.

So next time you find yourself getting caught up in an argument, try and picture that being your last conversation with that person and remember:

Life is about making mistakes, not regrets.

Life is about learning, not arguing. 

Life is about appreciating God’s gifts around us, not complaining about what we don’t have.

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Give all your loved ones a hug today and tell them you love them.  Because all we have is today.

 

Until next time..T. xx

 

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Valentine’s Day; at Home Date Nights

Valentine’s Day: the day dedicated to love.

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Unfortunately, for so many, this is a hard reminder of a broken heart, financial struggles (not being able to live up to the extravagant commercialization), and feelings of loneliness.   For these reasons, I am not a fan of this day. anti-valentines-day

My husband and I have never celebrated Valentine’s day.  We always skip the large bragging gifts, the romantic getaways, the flowers, everything.  I find the pressures of this day really trump the true meaning of love.

This does not mean I am a scrooge about this day! We have a daughter now, and this day is a little exciting for a child, so we make it special for her (she now is a proud owner of a brand new pink dollar store bucket for her pom poms, which she has been decorated with Dora stickers)– the littlest gift, but it has made her so happy!tenor.gif

For Josh and I, we like to have random date nights- those are so special to me.  However, times have changed and now we very rarely make it out just the two of us. (Come to think of it, I don’t think we have gone overnight somewhere alone since our honeymoon 5 years ago!)  With us both working full time jobs (plus planning around a toddler which can be tricky), we now wait until we both are feeling only semi-exhausted, and enjoy a night in together; an at-home date night!

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Last weekend, Josh was off work before Norah and I were home, so he picked up a pizza and a bottle of wine, and turned our Friday night into a mini date night!  Norah went to bed after eating pizza with us, and Josh and I continued the night with movies (ok, it was one movie-it would not be realistic to try and stay awake for two..) and some snacks/wine!  That night was so simple, relaxing, and fun.

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We have become hooked on at home date nights.  For our anniversary last year, we stayed home, cooked appetizers and baked peaches for dessert, and played scrabble.  We talked and laughed- it was a great evening, and still kid free!

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So, for those that do celebrate this day today, but either can’t afford an elaborate celebration or are too tired to go out tonight, here is a list of some fun at home date ideas (Im going to keep these in mind for our random date nights):

-movie night

-indoor picnic

-paint a picture together

-cook a meal together-sushi, pizza.. something hands on

-have a beer or wine tasting

-bundle with some blankets and have a bonfire

-fondue or raclette

-watch a sports game together- get some vendor snacks and beer and cheer your favourite team on!

-video game night

The list can go on!  Be creative & have fun!!  (and happy love day!)

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Until next time…T. xx

Reflection: Resolutions for 2017

img_26171I was trying to write a blog to reflect on my holidays over Christmas, and to try and transition it into the new year, but there are so many details that I could not possibly write them all out!  There were some rough moments with my family and friends-sickness, conflict, and hard emotions to face– but I started out the holiday telling myself to be positive, which allowed me to enjoy every single moment with my loved ones.

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I have faced many obstacles in 2016– personally, with my family, with my husband, with my work, with my friends- just as anyone has. I have recognized the breakthroughs and accepted any setbacks.  I am going to learn from these and take what I have learnt in 2016 and apply it to 2017.  I hope to increase my meditation, to slow life down to enjoy the little details, and to be positive and full of love.

 

There are 3 basic resolutions I would like to accomplish:  

  1.  STOP COMPLAINING.   I feel the world in this day and age complains more than we need to. I catch myself doing it all the time!   “that driver was too slow” “my throat hurts” “I’m so tired”  “I had to work late”

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I don’t want this to be the way I communicate anymore.  I have been truly inspired by a couple of people dear to my heart- whose lives consist of constant suffering- yet they have no complaints!  They just keep living.  By doing so, it is maximizing the value of their life here on earth!   So, I am going to try and stop complaining, and start living!

2. ATTEMPT BALANCE.  As a new working mom, I am really struggling with where to put my time and energy.  I know the solution is to create balance.  This will be a very hard challenge for myself.  It is a continuing task that is also linked to my anxiety and OCD.

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I am going to increase my meditation this year, because that keeps me focused.  It will slow me down and allow me to center myself and branch out to what I should be concentrating on.

3. SIMPLICITY.  This really ties into the balance portion of my resolutions.   The best way to balance is to simplify your life!  I hope to really minimize a lot of “things” around the house like clothes and other items not being used.  I hope to minimize my activities/focuses so I can have more open time for spontaneous adventures, date nights with my husband, and quality time with family and friends.  keep-it-simple-wallpaper

A simple life actually creates a full life if you think about it!!

So here is to 2017 being the start of a simple, balanced life full of positivity and love!!  May you all find peace in your lives this year.  xx

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