First Week Back…

well, we finally made it to friday!! That first long week back after Christmas holidays is over!! This week was so long I had to take Friday off work just to end it! LOL

what a week. Have you ever observed everyone (including your own household) after the holidays?

Kids are overtired, grumpy, restless.. adults are hungover from food and drink, socialed out, exhausted from travelling.

Everyone is scrambling mentally to come back to reality at work.. at least one family member is sick at home.

Routines are off, and new routines are trying to begin (going dry, exercising, new extracurricular activities in the evenings, new eatting habits).

sidenote: why did I decide to quit sugar and exercise daily during this week of hell?? what was I thinking?? 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

So..how did my week go? let’s just say that by the time thursday came around, i was driving out of my work parking lot blasting rap music on the way to the school, completely mentally checked out.

All in all, we survived the week and it is finally the weekend! my day off was productive and I’m ready for 2020!

But I definitely now know that the first week back from the holidays will always be an adjustment!

………..I can’t help but wonder..what will the first week back from summer holidays be like?

Until next time.. T. xx

Adventures of a Working Mom

HELLO!!!   So, it’s been almost an entire year since I’ve written a blog…   Time really does fly!

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To sum up 2019….  I started a new job in January with a massive learning curve, but I am absolutely loving this job and I feel I have really found my spot in the working world!  It definitely has kept me busy and my time management skills have had to severely increase.  I of course love the challenge, but there has been some days where I feel completely burnt out. (I’m working on this!) 

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Between the new job, and our 4 year old daughter starting school in September, (oh and husband started new job too), our routine of life has had to work out a few kinks!   I think it is safe to say that we are in a good rhythm now and are ready to start off 2020 with goals for the house, family, work, and adventures in sight!

As my daughter gets older (did anyone else blink and BAM, they are not babies anymore??!!), and as I move further into my career, the more eager I am to find the ultimate balance between work and mom life, as well as tricks and tips along the way!  (the words “self care” seems to keep popping into my head lol)

I hope you all enjoy following along… bear with me as I work out the kinks in the next couple of weeks!

Until next time..T. xx

This Past Year…………

I have had such trouble writing this particular post- as words cannot describe the feeling of such a loss, or sum up the emotions we have endured throughout this year.. words cannot display the test on our faith, our marriage, our lives.

During this year, we witnessed my husband’s dearest mom suffer to more than I have ever seen someone suffer, and lose to a very aggressive cancer battle- in which she fought with EVERY inch of her body, mind, and spirit.   Aside from the obvious heartache that we all shared this Christmas season- I never realized all of the other emotions that entailed with losing someone so close.

All year, I had watched my husband go through all the stages of grief– anger, sadness, more anger….I tried to helplessly support and comfort him during those times, and remind him of our faith through all the moments of frustration, confusion, and hurt.

It wasn’t until the last two days of my mother in law’s life, that I was filled with such anger!  It hit me like a brick wall.    The reality sunk in, and that deep feeling of losing someone forever was horrifying to the point that it made me feel sick.

My dearest friend reminded me, right as I was going down a horrible path in my mind, that it’s all in God’s will.   It’s up to God for when it is time for us to go.   She reminded me to keep my faith.   I definitely needed that spiritual boost to get through those last couple of days, and the weeks to follow.

Two weeks after she passed, it was the Christmas season.   Definitely one of the toughest Christmases to go through– but it’s amazing what family can do to help each other during this time.

While visiting my family out of town, we attended Christmas Mass.   My 8 year old niece pointed out significant details in the church to our daughter- and what really stuck to Norah, was that Jesus was there.   She was so fascinated with Him!   When we all stood up at the start of Mass, Norah spoke loudly, “Is Jesus coming out??!!  Is He coming??” with great excitement– as excited as the kids were with the thought of Santa coming the night before.

Afterwards, I was explaining to Norah that we may not be able to actually SEE Jesus, but that He is in our hearts always, and I realized that that simple message sums up my lesson of this year:

Keep your faith strong-whatever it be-that is where our inner strength is found.

Keep close to your family and friends-those who are important to you- they will not be on earth forever..But they will always be in your heart.. like Jesus!

Until next time.. T. xx

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Be Forgiving…. to Yourself!

Well, for some reason I always come to my blog when I just cannot handle life for one more minute!  I really should go back to writing in my journal.

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Anyway, there’s an actual reason to this blog entry!  I went to the bank recently which gave me a self revelation;  I realized the one thing that I really struggle with is forgiving myself.

I am very quick to forgive others:  I try to empathize what they could be going through to help soften the hurt that is towards me.   Yet for some reason, I struggle with telling my own self that it’s ok.  To forgive myself for the stresses I’m going through.   That my mistakes were learning experiences.

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Right now our marriage is under a lot of stress.  My husband’s mother is terminally ill in a hospice right now, and with that comes a lot of emotions to process for all of the family during this time.

On top of that, our finances were ignored this entire year- the focus to pay off debt.   Mat leave was not good for us financially, Josh’s mom was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer directly afterwards, and then our car died last week…..it is safe to say that money and illness  are definitely in the top 3 stressors in a marriage.

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My mother in law is very well taken care of in the hospice and is surrounded by loved ones daily,  but  I have no idea how to comfort her, or my husband, or any of the family.  I feel completely helpless and constantly sad.

I’ve shifted my focus a bit on our finances to distract myself.   Even being a cost accountant by occupation, I realized that I needed help– a financial advisor.

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So I booked an appointment at the bank!   While sitting there combing through last month’s expenditures,  I found myself extremely defensive.  I think because I am mad at how we let things become.  We had lost focus on paying off our debt.  The worse it got, the more mad I became at myself.

After a talk with my financial advisor, I realized that my family has really been through a lot in the past two years and that I need to forgive myself and move forward!

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I am so glad I went to see her- as she had many tips and helped set us up with a 5 year plan.  Those advisors are so beneficial as they know all the ins and outs!

So, aside from the moral of this random rant (FORGIVE YOURSELF), the other lessons are- see a financial advisor at least twice a year, and for me- time to get back into journaling!!

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Until next time..T. xx

 

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Through a Toddler’s Eyes..

Now that Norah is transforming into this tiny little human, I am really noticing what that ‘innocence of a child’ phrase truly means.

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Her thoughts and observances are so simple.  “Mommy, look- the sky is blue!”  She was SO excited to show me that this morning, and even more thrilled that a crow flew by while we were looking up.  “A bird mommy! a bird!!! it’s FFLY-ing!” (she emphasizes her pronunciation sometimes.. almost like she is teaching me the word… so adorable)   

Well to me- I was not thrilled to see the pesky bird that is constantly scattering our garbage all over the road on garbage day…

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But to Norah–this was exciting/amazing/beautiful!   A black bird flying in the blue sky;  a simplistic picture of her view from our front door.

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I wonder how less stressful our lives would be if we removed a lot of the complicated thoughts and emotions, and observed life like a toddler.

Obviously we cannot be ignorant to the world around us now that we are adults and are aware of issues such as global warming, pollution, forest fires, war.

However, on days I feel overwhelmed in my adult life, I find it very refreshing to look through my toddler’s eyes- to remind us of the simple beauty surrounding us;  to remind us of how exciting it is to discover new things/ideas; to remind us of what truely makes us happy;  to remind us to be silly and laugh often..

 

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P.S. Rock discovery never gets old….

Until next time..T. xx

 

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Don’t Miss “The Window”…

So, it has been a long few weeks– emotionally draining, physically exhausting… dealing with family, work, teething toddler, home maintenance– just life in general.  Most of my family are vacationing in my hometown, which makes me a bit homesick for the town and my family.  Also, I think Josh and I not having a proper vacation together in years is starting to take a toll…

Anyway, life just kind of caught up to me yesterday.  I guess there is only so much before one can run out of steam!

Most days I can push myself pretty far– from 4 or 5am non-stop to 8 or 9 at night.  Last night however, I just KNEW I would not make it to 9pm.  This mama needed a time out!

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I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen and Josh came home from work earlier than normal.  Norah still had awhile to go before bedtime so there was my window of opportunity…and I took it!!

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Here’s a lesson parents–do NOT hesitate.  TAKE that window- even if it is just a 5 minute one!

Anyway, I poured a glass of wine, shut the blinds, climbed right into bed, and completed “vegged” for 20 minutes.  I could not believe how fast I became refreshed from taking that time out!  And I don’t feel guilty at all!

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It’s funny- I always read about not missing ‘that window’ for a baby’s bedtime, but I never thought about MY window! I am going to try and look for those more often… and actually take them, instead of feeling guilty of taking a break.

 

Until next time..T. xx

 

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Live In The Moment

Generally, I have always found it very hard to live in the moment; on a day to day basis, just enjoying each minute of the day.  However I am really starting to realize how important it is to live in the moment.  Right now, our family is going through an extremely difficult time-we have a very close loved one who has been battling an illness for a long time, and if there is one thing this is teaching us- it is to not take today for granted.

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Another family member, who lost his wife a few years ago, gave me the best advice that is forever stuck in my mind:  “the little quarrels with your spouse are useless; don’t waste your time together fighting, ENJOY the time together.”

I know this is easier said than done.  We can all get caught up in the back and forth bickering, but for the most part, what are those little fights about?  Will it really matter who is right or wrong next year, or 5 years from now?

The bottom line is, our life on earth is SO SHORT, and unfortunately some shorter than others.  And the kicker is-we don’t know when we are going to die.   I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus, and there is no way anyone could foresee that.

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So why spend our days fighting with those we love.  We should spend each and every day loving, living, and appreciating our next breath.

So next time you find yourself getting caught up in an argument, try and picture that being your last conversation with that person and remember:

Life is about making mistakes, not regrets.

Life is about learning, not arguing. 

Life is about appreciating God’s gifts around us, not complaining about what we don’t have.

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Give all your loved ones a hug today and tell them you love them.  Because all we have is today.

 

Until next time..T. xx

 

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Toddler Tuesday-Behaviour & Self Care

I have come across a very important lesson in parenting that I really want to share.  It honestly has answered a lot of questions on “how do I parent my child”…

A child’s #1 learning tool is our behaviour.  Children learn by observing how we treat ourselves and others, how we handle situations, how we react.  There is no special club, no top secret tip– it is simply OUR behaviour that will help our children grow into courageous, compassionate adults!

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Toddlerhood has been a HUGE eye opener for this.  At this stage, Norah is just starting to learn how to process/express emotions and feelings, mainly by watching Josh and I:  if we are adaptable, how we handle stress, how we learn from failure, how we appreciate, how we love.

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There is a bit of pressure in that.  This is the responsibility parents should take very seriously!

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sidenote: I totally chose that GIF because it was Chris Pratt.. lol…. you are welcome ladies!

This really has me analyzing myself as an individual too.  How DO I handle stress?  How do I calm myself down to think clearly?  How do I show love?

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Yesterday, Norah had a temper tantrum worthy of a guinness world record, and I definitely did not handle the situation the way I wanted to.  I lost my patience.  I lost my model behaviour.  I was weak.  Why?  The answer is simple- I am lacking in self-care.   

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Before I had Norah, I had a lot of spare time…but now, any spare time is often filled with chores and errands, and I have stopped making even a sliver of time for myself.   I began to think, ‘my family is the most important-I have to put them first’ or ‘that’s the sacrifice of being a mom’.

The truth is- we ALL need self-care to grow as individuals and to continue to love ourselves! (and to RECHARGE!)  

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Just recently, I started planning some upcoming painting/organizing projects (stay tuned- I am very excited!!) and am FINALLY starting to work on decorating the house, one room at a time!  I cannot wait to dedicate some evenings for this!!   Yes, I will probably have to sacrifice some housework, but to put some music on and do something that is passionate to me will be some major self-care for this mama!!

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So my advise today, on this toddler tuesday– is take time for yourself.  Even if it is just for 15 minutes. (errands and bathroom breaks do not count!)  Take a bath, put some photos in an album, paint a picture, build a table, write a blog, whatever you want to do!  Obviously there will be those days of complete exhaustion, but do not ignore the importance of self-care!!

Until next time..T. xx


 

 

10 Things You Might Not Know About Me

I thought I would do something fun today.. to distract from this rainy weather.  So I made a list of 10 fun little facts that people may not know about me!

  1. I love plants!! I have so many in my house- they are the best home decor, and I love nurturing them.  I find it very therapeutic.   I take pride in how long my plants have lived.  My mom gave me a plant on my first day of University, and I still have it to this day, 14 years later!


2. I love organizing, making lists, and am obsessed with time management.  (I’m just a ball of fun… lol).  My husband often compares me to Monica from Friends, and it isn’t a far stretch!

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3.  I love football.  I love watching the sport, and I love most football movies.  The atmosphere is full of energy and excitement!  There is nothing better than a classic football movie to get you motivated and inspired!

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4.  I am an avid reader.   According to my mom, I was an early reader, and didn’t like doing much else!  I always remember reading Nancy Drew under the covers with a flashlight into the wee hours, and if I couldn’t finish the book, I would finish it first thing in the morning.  Murder mysteries are probably my favourite, as well as biographies!

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currently reading- I love Sandra Brown novels!


5.  I highly prefer to watch movies (and t.v.) with the captions on..

My poor husband- after being married 5 years, he is finally okay with me putting them on when we watch a movie together!

6. I have a fear of clowns and large open spaces.  The movie “IT” just ruined me for clowns.  and I am not sure why, but deep dark oceans, staring into outer space– any large space of that proportion just freaks me right out!

7.  The Real Housewives series, I am sad to say, has become my guilty pleasure.  When I get an evening to myself (doesn’t happen too often), it consists of nail painting, wine, popcorn, and Real Housewives on my PVR! (I throw laundry on to feel productive on those nights..) 

8.  My two favourite classical composers to play on the piano are Mozart and Chopin.  Mozart for the fast intricate notes- it is always a fun challenge to play his music.  Chopin for the deep passionate Nocturnes- his music is so moving.


9.  I am a huge Star Wars fan.  My entire family is, and thankfully my husband is as obsessed as I am (it would have been a deal breaker)

RIP Carrie Fisher ~

10.  My favourite holiday is Christmas.  I love the entire season- the birth of Christ, the twinkly lights, the music, the trees, I love it all.  My decor consists of Nativity scenes and nature.  This year our basement flooded including our storage, and I had to claim 4 Christmas trees to insurance.. my girlfriend said she would vouch for me if they questioned…I guess 4 trees is more than the norm?

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Anyway, that’s it from me… I hope everyone has a great weekend- it is supposed to be beautiful on Saturday in our area!  Hooray for spring!

Until next time.. T. xx

Trip to NFLD, 2016

Awhile back, Josh and I were watching this show, “Canada: Over the Edge” , where a helicopter circles a specific area of Canada, and the landscape and history is told.  One episode, ‘Newfoundland: East Coast’ came on, and it brought all my memories back of my visit to Newfoundland.  


Last April almost to this day, I went to visit one of my dear friends in Witless Bay, NFLD.   Kelly, her husband, and their dog had packed up their life and moved there the October before and it had been really hard not having her around.   I had been through a few life altering changes (prenatal depression, new baby) and I decided to take a trip on my own before I was done my mat leave.  I was feeling extremely anxious to return to work (it was still two months away) so something big needed to be done;  A mental health trip- a momcation (there is honestly such a thing, look it up!)


On top of being united with one of my closest friends, and seeing the glorious sites of Newfoundland, I also took a big leap by leaving my 10 month old daughter at home for 7 days.  It was not easy, but was such an important thing to do for my independence and for Norah’s!  She also had some great bonding time with her dad and grandmother! 

I had a lot of fun on that trip- it was one I will remember for the rest of my life!  We toured the Avalon, visited many lighthouses, went to Signol Hill, learnt how to make a jiggs’ dinner and fish stew (both DELICIOUS), and I even got screeched in (I am now an honorary Newfie)!   It would take a thousand blogs to describe this trip, and another thousand to include the pictures I took.

  I will say this- if there is such a place to go to for serenity and reflection (and a great time with great people!)  it is the east coast of Newfoundland! 


until next time.. T. xx