Be Forgiving…. to Yourself!

Well, for some reason I always come to my blog when I just cannot handle life for one more minute!  I really should go back to writing in my journal.

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Anyway, there’s an actual reason to this blog entry!  I went to the bank recently which gave me a self revelation;  I realized the one thing that I really struggle with is forgiving myself.

I am very quick to forgive others:  I try to empathize what they could be going through to help soften the hurt that is towards me.   Yet for some reason, I struggle with telling my own self that it’s ok.  To forgive myself for the stresses I’m going through.   That my mistakes were learning experiences.

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Right now our marriage is under a lot of stress.  My husband’s mother is terminally ill in a hospice right now, and with that comes a lot of emotions to process for all of the family during this time.

On top of that, our finances were ignored this entire year- the focus to pay off debt.   Mat leave was not good for us financially, Josh’s mom was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer directly afterwards, and then our car died last week…..it is safe to say that money and illness  are definitely in the top 3 stressors in a marriage.

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My mother in law is very well taken care of in the hospice and is surrounded by loved ones daily,  but  I have no idea how to comfort her, or my husband, or any of the family.  I feel completely helpless and constantly sad.

I’ve shifted my focus a bit on our finances to distract myself.   Even being a cost accountant by occupation, I realized that I needed help– a financial advisor.

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So I booked an appointment at the bank!   While sitting there combing through last month’s expenditures,  I found myself extremely defensive.  I think because I am mad at how we let things become.  We had lost focus on paying off our debt.  The worse it got, the more mad I became at myself.

After a talk with my financial advisor, I realized that my family has really been through a lot in the past two years and that I need to forgive myself and move forward!

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I am so glad I went to see her- as she had many tips and helped set us up with a 5 year plan.  Those advisors are so beneficial as they know all the ins and outs!

So, aside from the moral of this random rant (FORGIVE YOURSELF), the other lessons are- see a financial advisor at least twice a year, and for me- time to get back into journaling!!

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Until next time..T. xx

 

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Bedtime & Excuses…

*disclaimer notice* For all of you parents whose children go to bed angelically every single night of the week, you will not relate to this post………….. 

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Well… it’s happened.  Norah has begun the “stalling for bedtime” phase.    I’ve started to notice the changes;  the slow walks to the bedroom, forgetting something in the living room, asking for more than the 3 stories that we read her… etc  (note: I have to switch up the stories now so that she doesn’t notice me skipping pages to hurry the bedtime along… shhh)

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Once Norah is in her crib, (we have not switched to a bed yet… and now I’m scared to) and the lights are out– the bedtime excuses/requests start rolling in.  And they all begin with “Mommy! wait!”

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Here are some examples (the amount in a night can vary…):

  • kiss a “boo-boo” (from 3 weeks ago..)
  • request for water (at least 4 times)
  • cold facecloth for forehead (now up to 3 cloths, one for each hand)
  • needs to be tucked in (again)
  • her dolly needs to be tucked in
  • needs a kleenex for her runny nose
  • couldn’t reach her soother (that was thrown across the room…….)
  • her nightlight stuffed animal is broken (batteries died..)
  • her fingernail hurts (and then requests the nail clippers)
  • her foot is itchy
  • she wants to watch t.v.
  • needs the Dora book, not the Curious George book
  • she can’t find “Yoo-Yoon” (the name of her stuffed Loon….almost as important as her blanky, so a worthy crisis)
  • there’s a mosquito in the room
  • request for milk
  • she needs to feed her dolly

 As I type this out, I realize I have been more than lenient once or twice 🙄😒, but hey, I’m not a perfect parent…especially when I’m tired! 

Does anyone else have these experiences?  Any funny requests while your child is stalling bedtime?  Please share!  Let’s all laugh and survive parenthood together…

Until next time..T. xx

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Through a Toddler’s Eyes..

Now that Norah is transforming into this tiny little human, I am really noticing what that ‘innocence of a child’ phrase truly means.

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Her thoughts and observances are so simple.  “Mommy, look- the sky is blue!”  She was SO excited to show me that this morning, and even more thrilled that a crow flew by while we were looking up.  “A bird mommy! a bird!!! it’s FFLY-ing!” (she emphasizes her pronunciation sometimes.. almost like she is teaching me the word… so adorable)   

Well to me- I was not thrilled to see the pesky bird that is constantly scattering our garbage all over the road on garbage day…

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But to Norah–this was exciting/amazing/beautiful!   A black bird flying in the blue sky;  a simplistic picture of her view from our front door.

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I wonder how less stressful our lives would be if we removed a lot of the complicated thoughts and emotions, and observed life like a toddler.

Obviously we cannot be ignorant to the world around us now that we are adults and are aware of issues such as global warming, pollution, forest fires, war.

However, on days I feel overwhelmed in my adult life, I find it very refreshing to look through my toddler’s eyes- to remind us of the simple beauty surrounding us;  to remind us of how exciting it is to discover new things/ideas; to remind us of what truely makes us happy;  to remind us to be silly and laugh often..

 

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P.S. Rock discovery never gets old….

Until next time..T. xx

 

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Plants Plants Plants!

I think I have mentioned before how much I just LOVE plants and how it is becoming a hobby (which I feel are important to have!), but I definitely am still a rookie when it comes to growing plants in and outdoors.  What I am really starting to love is the constant learning and the community of plant lovers!

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I visited my parents this past weekend–my mom definitely has the talent; a natural greenthumb!  I wish I had taken pictures of her flower garden, vegetable garden, and the assorted indoor plants throughout the house.  Among so many, she has 13 orchids that bloom at different times of the year!  She taught me a lot about which indoor plants need east sun, south sun–there is so much to know!

On Sunday, Josh and I visited friends of ours who we hadn’t seen in awhile, and when we got there, the first thing I noticed was all the containers of plants, vegetables, flowers, in the front and back yard!  Our friend is a natural botanist and it shows!  She had multiple types of lettuce, peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, flowers, etc etc etc (again, I wish I had taken pictures!) 


What I am loving about the planting community, is the sharing of knowledge and plants!  She gave me romaine lettuce, purple lettuce, and kale plants and taught me how to trim them, how much sun they need etc..I am VERY excited about this!   So in return, I gave her an ivy plant (my mom and I on the weekend found a good deal on ivys and aloe vera so naturally I stocked up) as they are great indoor plants to have!




  note: a lot of my pots are from the dollar store!  I love shopping for new planting pots

Anyway, I just thought I would share my garden-themed experiences this past week..

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Until next time..T. xx

Liebster Award-Discover New Blogs

Thank you to  Bexersblog for this nomination!  This chick is awesome– a very creative and passionate mommy to two cute kiddies!  It is nice to have other parents out there that experience similar challenges and hilarious moments while raising children!

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So how this award works: You must acknowledge the blogger who nominated you. Answer all 11 questions chosen by the nominating blogger. You should then nominate other fantastic bloggers, and give them 11 new questions to answer.

Here are the questions given to me:

  1. What is the one most important thing that readers should know about you and/or your blog? That this is my creative outlet and I am new to it, so bear with me! LOL
  2. What is your favorite season? FALL, hands down! the smells, colours (and no bugs!)
  3. Which superpower would you choose to have? probably the ability to fly… 
  4. What is your favorite dessert? I don’t think I have one..I’m not really a sweets/dessert person!  
  5. Have you ever been read by a medium? nope…
  6. What is your favorite thing to blog about?  I like being able to blog about everything- my thoughts, my experience with anxiety, as a mother, as a wife, as an employee, adventures- I love how the options are endless.
  7. If you could have a re-do of your childhood would you? no way.  I loved my childhood and every memory involved-the good and the bad!  That is a huge part of who I am today!
  8. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you choose?  in Southampton…I definitely miss my home town!
  9. Does your family have a “secret recipe”? For what?  I’m not sure if we have any secret ones, but I am half Ukrainian, so we have a certain way of making perogies, cabbage rolls,etc…
  10. What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday? Norah sleeping in until 7 (it happens EVERY once in awhile), sipping coffee with Josh and playing with Norah.. then all of us and the dogs going on an adventure, ending with a bbq and a cold drink
  11. What is your favorite drink?  probably wine. LOL  I am a big water drinker too, with ice and lemon- I’m not really a fan of pops and juices…

 


My nominees are:

LakesideWarriorGirl

Laura

BeautyBeyondBones

M loves M

 

Your questions, should you wish to participate:

  1. What is your favourite hobby?
  2. What made you start a blog?
  3. What is your favourite recipe to cook?
  4. What place would you love to visit?
  5. What is your ideal date night?
  6. Are you a cat or a dog person?
  7. If you could have any job, what would it be?
  8. What is your favourite store to shop?
  9. Sunrise or sunset?
  10. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
  11. Do you have a favourite book?

 

Garden fresh!!

Well, I finally got my hair done!!! It had been awhile… I love my hairdresser- and she had just moved to a house on the lake so it was time to visit her new place!

When I got there, I noticed her giant garden in the backyard! It was full of potatoes, zucchini, peppers, and a LOT of romaine lettuce! 

After a great night night of catching up (and going blonder…), she sent me home with a whole whack of romaine lettuce! 

So, here is the summer meal tonight: chicken burger with cheese, salsa and tomatoes, with a giant romaine lettuce salad (with tomatoes, cucumbers, balsamic vinegar and vinegar!) 

YUM!!!!! you can taste how fresh the lettuce is!!!


Until next time… T.xx

Don’t Miss “The Window”…

So, it has been a long few weeks– emotionally draining, physically exhausting… dealing with family, work, teething toddler, home maintenance– just life in general.  Most of my family are vacationing in my hometown, which makes me a bit homesick for the town and my family.  Also, I think Josh and I not having a proper vacation together in years is starting to take a toll…

Anyway, life just kind of caught up to me yesterday.  I guess there is only so much before one can run out of steam!

Most days I can push myself pretty far– from 4 or 5am non-stop to 8 or 9 at night.  Last night however, I just KNEW I would not make it to 9pm.  This mama needed a time out!

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I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen and Josh came home from work earlier than normal.  Norah still had awhile to go before bedtime so there was my window of opportunity…and I took it!!

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Here’s a lesson parents–do NOT hesitate.  TAKE that window- even if it is just a 5 minute one!

Anyway, I poured a glass of wine, shut the blinds, climbed right into bed, and completed “vegged” for 20 minutes.  I could not believe how fast I became refreshed from taking that time out!  And I don’t feel guilty at all!

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It’s funny- I always read about not missing ‘that window’ for a baby’s bedtime, but I never thought about MY window! I am going to try and look for those more often… and actually take them, instead of feeling guilty of taking a break.

 

Until next time..T. xx

 

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Live In The Moment

Generally, I have always found it very hard to live in the moment; on a day to day basis, just enjoying each minute of the day.  However I am really starting to realize how important it is to live in the moment.  Right now, our family is going through an extremely difficult time-we have a very close loved one who has been battling an illness for a long time, and if there is one thing this is teaching us- it is to not take today for granted.

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Another family member, who lost his wife a few years ago, gave me the best advice that is forever stuck in my mind:  “the little quarrels with your spouse are useless; don’t waste your time together fighting, ENJOY the time together.”

I know this is easier said than done.  We can all get caught up in the back and forth bickering, but for the most part, what are those little fights about?  Will it really matter who is right or wrong next year, or 5 years from now?

The bottom line is, our life on earth is SO SHORT, and unfortunately some shorter than others.  And the kicker is-we don’t know when we are going to die.   I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus, and there is no way anyone could foresee that.

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So why spend our days fighting with those we love.  We should spend each and every day loving, living, and appreciating our next breath.

So next time you find yourself getting caught up in an argument, try and picture that being your last conversation with that person and remember:

Life is about making mistakes, not regrets.

Life is about learning, not arguing. 

Life is about appreciating God’s gifts around us, not complaining about what we don’t have.

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Give all your loved ones a hug today and tell them you love them.  Because all we have is today.

 

Until next time..T. xx

 

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Time to Put The Gardening Gloves on!

So, I am a huge lover of plants (if you saw the inside of my house, you will find plants that are over 15 years old!), but I have never really tested out gardening.  I think my need to nurture and maintain has finally succeeded over my fear of failure!

This year, we haven’t been able to tackle much in terms of yard maintenance, but I finally decided it was time to remove the ugly grass patch in front of our bay window and plant a nice garden!

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Thankfully Josh wanted that grass patch gone too- so he helped me remove all the grass, and he tilled the clay ground best he could.

Norah and I had a lot of fun picking out shrubs and flowers at our local greenhouse!


We were in a race to beat the rain this week, so I went out after work in the evenings to plant and rake the soil.

It is hard to tell now, but once these grow in the next couple of years, they will look beautiful!   We planted a few boxwoods, hostas, and ninebarks (I cannot wait to see those grow!) as well as a couple of ground covers (wooly thyme smells AMAZING btw)

Gardening is an amazing teacher for patience and care;  I look forward to maintaining this garden and teaching Norah too!  Plus, it gets us outside in that wonderful summer weather!

So, what outside projects are you working on?

Until next time..T. xx

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