Be Forgiving…. to Yourself!

Well, for some reason I always come to my blog when I just cannot handle life for one more minute!  I really should go back to writing in my journal.

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Anyway, there’s an actual reason to this blog entry!  I went to the bank recently which gave me a self revelation;  I realized the one thing that I really struggle with is forgiving myself.

I am very quick to forgive others:  I try to empathize what they could be going through to help soften the hurt that is towards me.   Yet for some reason, I struggle with telling my own self that it’s ok.  To forgive myself for the stresses I’m going through.   That my mistakes were learning experiences.

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Right now our marriage is under a lot of stress.  My husband’s mother is terminally ill in a hospice right now, and with that comes a lot of emotions to process for all of the family during this time.

On top of that, our finances were ignored this entire year- the focus to pay off debt.   Mat leave was not good for us financially, Josh’s mom was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer directly afterwards, and then our car died last week…..it is safe to say that money and illness  are definitely in the top 3 stressors in a marriage.

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My mother in law is very well taken care of in the hospice and is surrounded by loved ones daily,  but  I have no idea how to comfort her, or my husband, or any of the family.  I feel completely helpless and constantly sad.

I’ve shifted my focus a bit on our finances to distract myself.   Even being a cost accountant by occupation, I realized that I needed help– a financial advisor.

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So I booked an appointment at the bank!   While sitting there combing through last month’s expenditures,  I found myself extremely defensive.  I think because I am mad at how we let things become.  We had lost focus on paying off our debt.  The worse it got, the more mad I became at myself.

After a talk with my financial advisor, I realized that my family has really been through a lot in the past two years and that I need to forgive myself and move forward!

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I am so glad I went to see her- as she had many tips and helped set us up with a 5 year plan.  Those advisors are so beneficial as they know all the ins and outs!

So, aside from the moral of this random rant (FORGIVE YOURSELF), the other lessons are- see a financial advisor at least twice a year, and for me- time to get back into journaling!!

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Until next time..T. xx

 

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