This October will mark our 5 year wedding anniversary. I cannot believe how the time has flown by! That got me thinking.. how do we celebrate this great achievement!?
Why is marriage such an achievement? If you love someone, shouldn’t it be easy? I will tell you first hand, married life is not easy. There are so many factors that can impact a marriage, so to say we are surviving is not a reach.
Anyway, here we are, 5 years married. We are happy, thankful, and enjoy each other’s company (ask us again in another 20 years… lol) but those giant mountains we sometimes climb can take a toll. We have been through health struggles, family dramas, job changes, a very sick parent, and now we are learning the parenting role to our toddler, Norah (not always a stress-free task..).
I learnt in counselling many years back about this list of 43 Major Life Stressors. It is a list of life changing events that you evaluate over the course of one year and your score defines how serious of a threat your stress levels are for your health. After observing my increase in anxiety and Josh’s blood sugar fluctuations (he is a juvenile Type 1 diabetic), I was curious of what our score was for this past year. I scored a 393 and Josh is almost the same, if not more due to some personal life events. Meaning-high risk of illness due to stress.
Ok- so it has been a rough year. For two people to be enduring the same amount of stress, for the same and individual life events in the same time period, we definitely are in survival mode.
The sad fact is, out of all of these stressors, the one that is causing a ripple effect on how we handle all of the others is our financial stress. That kind of stress can really test a marriage, because unlike any other factor- we can’t just get away for a week (or one night) to revive ourselves- to renew our bond and continue to take on the world together.
But- we WILL survive! We have in the past, and we will again now! We have Faith- and that is what has helped us time and time again. We have to remind ourselves that if we put our worries in God’s hands, and have a little faith, love will prevail.
Sidenote: right before we got married, I went out and got a tattoo- “Faith” across my ribs. It is there to remind me that God is what will get me/us through any situation.
And all major stresses aside, the reality is we are putting in our time right now as a newly married couple. My parents have been married 48 years and Josh’s parents 34 years! We still have so much to go through in life and many things to learn. 5 years seems trivial compared to the many miles our parents have on us.
How will we celebrate these past 5 years? I will update when the time comes.. Maybe split a bottle of wine and a steak at home, and plan a realistic vacation for our 10 year anniversary… hopefully by then, we can afford a vacation worthy of all the hard times!
Until next time..T. xx