I did not have enough room in my last blog post to discuss the second part of my realization when it comes to my anxiety, so here it is. and this is really important to me.
So, recap- I have been practicing my CBT and have continued my daily practices that help relieve my anxiety. But there is another part- one that I did not realize its impact until the other night!
As I mentioned before, my anxiety was starting to get out of control and taking over my life. This happens every once in awhile. I have an anxiety disorder and I have depressive episodes that deeply impact my life.
Two years ago, i suffered prenatal depression and it was one of my toughest depressive episodes to go through. To be blessed with a baby and not know why you cannot be happy is indescribable-a horrible feeling.
This past month I could feel my anxiety overwhelming me. I had to do something because I have been in the darkest places and I just did not want to get to that point- or it was going to affect my job, my home, my life.
While talking with my doctor, I felt a sense of relief- just for the 5 minutes that I saw him and talked about how I was feeling. My husband and I communicate well and often- so I am not necessarily bottling things in- but talking to someone else in public was different to me. I hadn’t done it since I had seen my counselor 6 years ago.
When I got home, I had noticed a friend of mine had started up a blog about mental health awareness. A safe place to discuss mental health with people who are going through the same things I was going through! This was a whole new experience for me. I have discussed with doctors, psychologists, but not with a support group of peers.
I have to say this was a missing piece to working through my anxiety! To hear that I am not the only one is extremely comforting, as I often feel alone with this illness. To hear what others do to manage this is extremely inspiring. I realized that even though I have tools, I should not stop learning! There are so many coping methods and tools out there, and I am learning new ones every day!
Most importantly, this blog gave me a whole new sense of strength and empowerment. My friend encouraged others to voice any of their coping methods on the blog. I thought ‘I have so many, I can do this!’, without realizing how scary it is to actually speak about this to others! I was anxious (inevitably) but I recorded myself saying a few jotted thoughts on how I have been managing my anxiety and sent it off.
I thought I had accepted my anxiety disorder- but after talking out loud, I feel like my life changed and I am in full acceptance and awareness. I am really happy with who I am, and I feel stronger today than I did yesterday. xx
*Follow my friend’s blog on instagram: lins.letstalk