The Anxious Extrovert

So, this blog is a little more personal than usual, but since one of the helpful tools for my anxiety is to write things out, here I am.

Cup of coffee and blank diary with a pencil on a wooden table

I know many introverts in my life (including my husband).   A lot of my loved ones are introverts- some with anxiety, some without.  Regardless, I have always been a little bit jealous of how non-reliant they are on the outer world.

I am an extrovert-the complete opposite.   I love to communicate through talking,  I feel energized after socializing, I solve problems by discussing them, and I am just a very open person as a whole.i-am-what-i-am

I have not had too many issues being an extrovert with my introverted friends and family. ¬†I’ve learnt a lot from¬†introverts and admire their qualities-they tend to analyze alone¬†and¬†I feel that causes them to be more in tune with¬†themselves.*note: this is more of an observation than a fact about introverts*

I think the issue I am having these days lies within myself- being an extrovert with an anxious mind.busy-mind

It causes me to crave socialization and people.  Yet also to question friendships, to overthink what I say in conversations, to obsessively worry of my mannerisms, and to become insecure.  Being an insecure extrovert is a really difficult combination.   Wanting to be surrounded by people, yet second guessing myself constantly is completely exhausting on the mind.tired

I imagine my mannerisms as an anxious extrovert can be overwhelming to any introvert- who processes internally and keeps to themselves.   I come off as perhaps overbearing or too assertive when wanting to talk about any issue (and unfortunately, sometimes the issue has grown 10 times bigger in my head in a matter of hours).overthink

This is a very hard battle that I struggle with.  I find it puts me in a very isolated category.  I am not an extrovert, yet not an introvert.  I am not wanting to be alone, yet feel very alone.  This has affected a lot of my relationships with people who may not understand my struggle.

There is hope though!  As I have been researching this about myself in the past 10 years, I do realize what my triggers are, and what I can do to help myself through these battles.working-progress

Here is what I have found helpful for an anxious extrovert:

Counselling: ¬† this is just a must if you haven’t tried it. ¬†I learnt so many tools and so much about myself, my anxiety, and my triggers through my counselor. ¬†I am forever grateful for her. ¬† And the good news is- you can go back whenever you feel you need a refresher or a little extra help!

Journaling: This is very important for an extrovert with anxiety.  This gets all of the worries and obsessive/negative thoughts out of your head and onto the paper.    It is the closest thing to talking through your issues with someone.   Once I have everything written down, my head is a lot more clear!

Exercise/Meditation:  I try to do yoga daily  and walk my dogs as often as I can.  The blend of fresh air, meditation, doing something for someone else (my dogs) and exercise is the perfect mix.

Eating Healthy:  I have really switched gears with my nutrition.  I eat healthier food, take more vitamins, and really focus on what is good for my body and mind!  I love my treats (wine and popcorn to name a few) but I am really focused on creating a balance.

Those are the main helpful tools I have discovered throughout the years.  That, and to always surround yourself with positive, supportive people!

Lots of love, T.   xx

 

 

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