So, this blog is a little more personal than usual, but since one of the helpful tools for my anxiety is to write things out, here I am.
I know many introverts in my life (including my husband). A lot of my loved ones are introverts- some with anxiety, some without. Regardless, I have always been a little bit jealous of how non-reliant they are on the outer world.
I am an extrovert-the complete opposite. I love to communicate through talking, I feel energized after socializing, I solve problems by discussing them, and I am just a very open person as a whole.
I have not had too many issues being an extrovert with my introverted friends and family. I’ve learnt a lot from introverts and admire their qualities-they tend to analyze alone and I feel that causes them to be more in tune with themselves.*note: this is more of an observation than a fact about introverts*
I think the issue I am having these days lies within myself- being an extrovert with an anxious mind.
It causes me to crave socialization and people. Yet also to question friendships, to overthink what I say in conversations, to obsessively worry of my mannerisms, and to become insecure. Being an insecure extrovert is a really difficult combination. Wanting to be surrounded by people, yet second guessing myself constantly is completely exhausting on the mind.
I imagine my mannerisms as an anxious extrovert can be overwhelming to any introvert- who processes internally and keeps to themselves. I come off as perhaps overbearing or too assertive when wanting to talk about any issue (and unfortunately, sometimes the issue has grown 10 times bigger in my head in a matter of hours).
This is a very hard battle that I struggle with. I find it puts me in a very isolated category. I am not an extrovert, yet not an introvert. I am not wanting to be alone, yet feel very alone. This has affected a lot of my relationships with people who may not understand my struggle.
There is hope though! As I have been researching this about myself in the past 10 years, I do realize what my triggers are, and what I can do to help myself through these battles.
Here is what I have found helpful for an anxious extrovert:
Counselling: this is just a must if you haven’t tried it. I learnt so many tools and so much about myself, my anxiety, and my triggers through my counselor. I am forever grateful for her. And the good news is- you can go back whenever you feel you need a refresher or a little extra help!
Journaling: This is very important for an extrovert with anxiety. This gets all of the worries and obsessive/negative thoughts out of your head and onto the paper. It is the closest thing to talking through your issues with someone. Once I have everything written down, my head is a lot more clear!
Exercise/Meditation: I try to do yoga daily and walk my dogs as often as I can. The blend of fresh air, meditation, doing something for someone else (my dogs) and exercise is the perfect mix.
Eating Healthy: I have really switched gears with my nutrition. I eat healthier food, take more vitamins, and really focus on what is good for my body and mind! I love my treats (wine and popcorn to name a few) but I am really focused on creating a balance.
Those are the main helpful tools I have discovered throughout the years. That, and to always surround yourself with positive, supportive people!
Lots of love, T. xx